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Life Unafraid {Day 3} When the Unafraid Gets Pushed Aside

*This month, I’m joining a bunch of other bloggers in a challenge to write for 31 days on a topic about change. Having struggled with fear (sometimes paralyzing) for a lot of my life and missing much of the living that I know God wants for me, I am on a mission to live unafraid for 31 days straight, challenging you to join me. And I’m writing about it. You can catch up here if you’ve missed any of the days.

Six words get my heart racing like no other words in the English dictionary.

I think I’m gonna’ throw up.

So when my youngest looked at me last night and spoke them right to my face, all semblance of my I’m-living-unafraid-no-matter-what-for-31-days-in-a-row jumped right off the couch and ran out the the front door. By the time we got the bathroom and prayed, the nausea was gone. But the fear was back with a determined force that could only be fought with the truth of God’s Word and the very real name of Jesus Christ.

We prayed out loud, said His Name out loud, too. And then she felt better. Call it what you will, but I call it the power of God at work in my home.

So then, you might ask, why was I so afraid when I got back to the couch? Why did my heart still race, and why did I keep looking at her, asking if she still felt all right? Where was the unafraid now that the barf didn’t happen?

I fought the fear from my spot on the couch, even as the worry grew. I remembered my vow of unafraid living, and at the same time, I struggled to trust the One Who I know sometimes allows things like barf to get me over the fear.

I remembered how He’d gotten me through the fear of it four years ago, when she ended up in the hospital for three days with severe dehydration. And then again, those many other times of late night Emergency Room runs for the very same thing. I’d thought about her propensity for dehydration before we left the States, and the doctor who knows her history so well, and even back then, I had decided to trust God’s hand with even that.

But last night on the couch, that trust looked a little less firm. A tad less stable. I talked to God about this, begged Him actually, and He reminded me that real life only comes from One. Real living can only happen when I truly trust His way, no matter what. Barf or no barf. German hospitals and doctors or American ones.

I opened up the Bible, realizing that was the only real way to fight this battle, and read words that God had spoken to His children about battles they would face.

In a few minutes you’re going to do battle with your enemies. Don’t waver in resolve. Don’t fear. Don’t hesitate. Don’t panic. GOD, your God, is right there with you, fighting with you against your enemies, fighting to win (Deuteronomy 20:1-4, The Message).

I prayed as I read it. I asked GOD, my God, to help me keep my resolve, to help me not panic. To remember that His being right there with me is absolutely enough. I told Him that I want to know His real real life more than I fear my daughter’s barf, or the possibility of dehydration and all that might entail, or the rude mid-sleep awakening with a different five words, “Mom, I just threw up.” Yes, the very Word of God fought my battle with fear last night for me.

And, you know what? She never threw up.

So today, I am thanking God for that. And I am thanking Him for the strength He’s giving me to fight the fear and to really live. Unafraid.

How do you fight fear when the unafraid gets pushed aside? You can leave a comment, or maybe a truth about peace or fear, by clicking the comment bubble at the top of this post and typing in the box that shows up.

2 Thoughts on “Life Unafraid {Day 3} When the Unafraid Gets Pushed Aside

  1. I have found the fear of the unknown is far worse than the reality of something. I’ve lived with anxiety, lost sleep…shoot, I even have to take blood pressure medication. I don’t think the right way to fight fear is to live completely unafraid. We all have it and have to fight it, and I think we have to own it and choose to move beyond it. (And don’t think I’m shuttering right now because my words sound so Oprah-esque.) You are so much stronger than you think, Brianna Rae. Your girls are growing into amazing women because of the strength of their mother. Don’t hide it from them. Have you ever watched Bowling For Columbine? A lot of my fear went away after I watched it. I think you would like it.

    • Thanks, KayRen.You are so right. It’s true of the barf — I fear what MIGHT happen more than I fear it once it HAS happened. And I agree — I think sometimes fear (for lack of a better word) is a gift — like healthy fear that keeps us from doing stupid stuff like jumping in front of trains or something. I like your Oprah-esque feel. 🙂 And I agree that we have to choose to move beyond it, but I don’t think that, in the case of some kinds of strong fears, the choosing in and of itself is enough. I think the power to stick with that choice can only come from God Himself.

What do you say?

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