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When God Makes You Small To Show You His Grace

I dove into last Tuesday morning with a plan. I would think through my blogging. Take three hours the day my kids started school and fill in my Blog Planning Kit with the purposes I’ve been asking God to clarify for me.

But God had different plans. Same purpose. Different methods.

He wanted to remind me that small steps lead to huge purpose when it comes to His ways.

So I followed Him to the hospital where my grandpa-in-law would spend his last few days. He showed me through the Emergency Room and then up to Floor Two. Then down to Floor One. Then to the big, beautiful room reserved for Hospice and goodbyeing.

I followed God later to my grandma-in-law’s side. To my father- and mother-in-laws’ embrace. To my husband’s hand.

He showed me what love looks like for a couple married more than 70 years. The faithful hand stroking. The grieving concern.

The pain of life’s end.

God took me from my own plans and led me into His. He let me be part of the sacred moments and difficult doctor visits.Red heart leaf with grace

I am certain it was God’s grace alone that led me into that family. To know and love a grandpa who was not mine by blood. To play a relative’s role in the lives now mine by virtue of marriage.

Because I don’t know what to say and I talk when I’m nervous and I often ruin quiet moments with stupid things like, “Do you want some coffee?” and “Where’s the bathroom?”

And I know all I can do is just offer my presence, but it feels so small in the midst of this great big moment. The one that takes two days to sum up a 91-year-old man’s life, a 70 year marriage, a legacy of life and love and Navy stories and hand-carved walking sticks.

Even though I know it, my mouth won’t let it be and I talk when I shouldn’t and I say more stupid stuff.

And still they want me there.

And I am humbled because we all know I don’t deserve the honor.

Truth is, I don’t deserve this family God has blessed me with in my in-laws. Or the love we share even when nobody’s saying a word.

It’s all grace, Ann Voskamp is teaching me to sayEvery last ounce of everything I have is grace straight from God’s hand.

God’s undeserved gift in the form of a family with whom I share no genes. A family by whom I am amazingly loved.

 

p.s. I’m an affiliate for The Blog Planning Kit, so if you click on that link and decide you want to buy it, I’ll get to go to Starbucks. 🙂

5 Thoughts on “When God Makes You Small To Show You His Grace

  1. Lisa morley rabal on August 26, 2013 at 9:33 pm said:

    Love it. Every last ounce of everything I have is grace straight from God’s hand. We are all flawed and Satan would want us to remain there. But God, loves us and deeply wants to bless us with his love. He receives great glory and honor when we accept and cherish the way he loves us. I have been blessed to watch your story develop. It has given me courage when I have been down to press forward in Him for His love. Much love to you and your family in this difficult time.

  2. You just grab my heart Bria, what a gift you are. I know why they want you there. You are as much a treasure to them as they are to you. Thanks for sharing the story of a beautiful man, a beautiful family

  3. Oh sweetie, I know they are blessed to have you as one of their own. It is wonderful to love and be loved; and I love when God allows our spouse’s family to become ours. I have been blessed twice this way. And it is only …by the Grace of God.

    I love how what God writes on your heart , flows to your fingertips, to your lips and into the hearts of those of us who read or hear those words.

    I am so sorry for your loss, for Drew’s loss, for everyone’s loss. I am thankful you knew this dear man; you loved him and you were loved by him.

  4. So sweet Brianna, and yes, you do deserve this family, and I feel very sure that you are a blessing to them.

  5. Sorry for your loss. My husband lost his 92 year old Grandfather last week too, on his birthday no less. And I was an adopted-into-the-family granddaughter. He was the grandfather I never had.
    We spent an extra week on “vacation” because he died and I am truly so blessed to have married into this family as well.
    (visiting from Lisa-Jo)

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