Because I Do Not Know How to Pray Today

Dear God,

I missed the tragedy yesterday on the news. We watched Elf and laughed and wrapped presents after the girls went to bed. And we missed the reports of horror.

But, God, I know You did not.

My heart feels broken for the people in Newtown, Connecticut. I want to offer something to help. But I have no idea what I might give.

I feel like I should know what to say. How to beg You for help. What to ask of You, the One Who fixes broken. And calms afraid. The One Who grants sleep to survivor children and to parents who have lost so much. Lord, I so badly want to speak powerful words to help heal and deal and move on with the living.

But, God, I do not know what to say. I cannot form the words.

Your Words keep playing in my head. The ones that assure me it’s okay not to know what to ask. That You’ll mediate for me with word-inexpressible groans. And, Holy Spirit, I ask You please to fill the holes of my clueless praying with those groans.

My heart is broken for those famlies in Newtown, Connecticut. Those children who lived through the gunshots. Heard the screaming and the mayhem and had to duck into closets and quiet their fearful sobs as they hid from the horror. My spirit is heavy for the people in West Linn, Oregon who are still reeling from Tuesday’s mall tragedy. Oh, God!

Lord, I know Your heart is broken, too. I know You were there. Inside Macy’s. In that elementary school. In the closets. Under the desks. I believe You empowered the survivors with courage.

And, at the same time, Lord God Almighty, I want to scream out to you and ask why You didn’t step up and do something. Why didn’t You stop it before it happened? I wish I knew. I trust You do.

God, today. Will You give them the what-they-need to get out of bed. Will You somehow grant them Your abundance even in the grieving? Will You calm the fearful? Point them to the real of Who You are. Show them Your amazing Almighty even in the horror of their broken.

And, Lord God, show me if I can do something. If it’s simply to offer Holy-Spirit-led groan prayers, then, Lord, make me faithful. But, God, if there is more, please make it clear. And give me whatever I need to carry it out.

Amen.