Because Sometimes He Doesn’t Wrap the Gift All Pretty

I knew it would be all kinds of difficult mixed with all sorts of awesome. When we set out on this journey, we had little doubt about the inevitable stretching growth and the absolute fun of the all-around adventure. To tell you the truth, I’ve been afraid to expect the best for fear of being let down. For several months, I’ve been holding back on my excitement about moving across the world for a year because I didn’t want to get over here and find that all the fun and adventure was actually only hard work and misery. It’s a little mind-game I’ve played with myself for decades — the less excited I was before I left on an adventure, the more pleasantly surprised I would be to find out it wasn’t as bad as I though it would be. Oh, the mind games I play with myself!

So here we are, one week and two days into the adventure, and I must say that the all sorts of awesome have been more abundant so far. Although, personally I am embarrassed to admit that I already feel homesick, I believe that God is walking me from every last bit of energy to each very next step, and He’s been pointing out glimpses of His gifts all along the way.

Sometimes the gifts have been wrapped up all pretty and perfect. Like the view outside the window of our hotel room of the Parisian flower shop that explodes onto the sidewalk and smells like the perfect mix of potpourri.

Or the sweet voice of my 10-year-old offering me her train seat after a long day of stair-climbing and sight-seeing in one of the largest cities in Europe.

Still, sometimes He wraps up gifts like a Starbucks coffee cup with my name spelled correctly right there on the front.

Other times, I have to pay more attention, keep an eye out for the undeserved that I know God is giving.

Like the peeling away of the false security I find in small comforts I am used to. The knowing that my only real and true help comes from God alone.

Like making me want to find Him first thing in the morning, to find just one nugget of His truth, just one promise of His goodness to cling to for the day. Because I wake up in the morning already exhausted and unsure of how I will deal with the many uncertainties that are now par for the course. And, the realization that this amazing 10 days in Paris will not return me to the comfort of what I know as home, but will actually propel me into further unknown, deeper uncertainty. For I really only have a day and a half of German living under my belt.

And then there are times He gives very important gifts wrapped not so nicely, but perfectly-timed.

And I am learning to trust His choice of gifts. I am learning that He knows best. And, with that, I know that this adventure in itself is, without a doubt, a gift.

A gift for which I am ever so grateful.