Good Thing God’s In Charge

I freaked out last Wednesday night, and the two Wednesday nights before that. It seems to be my allotted freakout time. That’s why I’m writing today (Tuesday) and not tomorrow. Because it’s becoming a regularly scheduled appointment, the Wednesday evening wierd-out thing.

We leave in two weeks. The movers just left with the stuff we will need for the next year. We won’t see that stuff for about six weeks. It’ll be fun to unpack when it gets to our new home. Like Christmas in July. Perhaps we can celebrate Jesus’ half-birthday and pretend we got gifts and everything.

My mind is mush. Deciding what I will need for the next year, what I won’t need, and what I will need for the next six weeks — well, it’s exhausted me. And now I’m just kind of mushy. Not the case three hours ago when the movers got here. Not the case at all.

I woke up kind of sharp-edged. Wound tight. Afraid of details I don’t even know to be afraid of. Concerned about forgetting something like my awesome new winter boots or my suitcase. I mean, really, what if I forget my suitcase?! You laugh, but I’m telling you, my brain has been at full capacity for an extended period of time, and I could truly do something like that. Just sayin’. Anyway — I woke up less than gentle. Rigid would probably sum it up nicely.

Then God took me to I Peter 5:7. He’s been using Jesus Calling to show me pieces of His truth that He knows I so desperately need these days. It says,

It says it like this in the Message version,

God’s mighty hand holds every detail in place. Every last strip of packing tape. Every single moment on that dreaded 8-hour-flight to Munich. Every single goodbye here and new friendship to be forged there. Sovereign God’s almighty hand holds every ounce of emotion and each square meter of the home we do not yet know. So how can I not live out the truth of these I Peter chapter 5 verses? Furthermore, why would I not? Why would I not choose to leave everything up to Him Who holds everything anyway? For “He is most careful with (me).” Why would I not live carefree?

I’ve been trying it on for size the last few hours. Quite honestly, I don’t think my husband can tell any difference. Not yet, anyway. But I can. I’m not worried. I’m free to live fully in the right now, because God is holding me in it. He’s also holding the not yet and the has been too. And so today, right now, I choose to trust His almighty hand. I will reach for it all day. As I  say more goodbye’s and find things I’d hoped to send. Because He is God. And I am not.

Good thing.