Holy Above All

What if God designed marriage to make us holy rather than happy?  It’s a thought that, quite frankly, I fear the truth of.  In fact, several years ago, I started reading a book based on that exact premise and couldn’t get past the first chapter.  Because deep down in my heart of hearts I recognized it to be true.  Truth I was not ready to face.

Because I like to be happy.  I like to enjoy.  I have always believed that enjoying life is a huge part of real living.  The kind of living Jesus said He came to give.  Sure, there are times of struggle.  But, learning to deal and enjoy through them and getting to the other side of them, well — if I’m completely honest, that’s been the focus.  Trusting that God uses those times to make me holy and more like Him.  But I’ve established my hope in the prospect of suffering’s reprieve.  And I am learning this is my vice.

It’s not just marriage, though that discussion is what started me on this thought journey.  I mean, if I’m gut-honest, the truth is that’s God’s design for most everything.  His purpose for our holiness.  And He will use anything — marriage, parenthood, friendships, jobs, sickness, brokenness, yes anything — to get us there. 

But today when I read the final chapter of Finding the Hero in Your Husband, by Dr. Julianna Slattery, I was forced to face the fear for real.  Because she ends the whole book on the thought that maybe, just maybe, ours won’t be the ideal marriage, but that does not mean that God has not called us to remain faithful and serve Him and our husbands wholly as He uses these relationships to make us holy and more like Him.  While I do believe that God has given me an amazing husband who I do not deserve, I don’t like the idea that God is more about my holiness than my comfort or my happiness.  Because holiness sounds great and all, but right now, I like comfortable and happy.

Of course the deep truth in that is the fact that true holiness, being like Jesus Christ and in true and constant fellowship with Him, is the only true kind of happiness.  But that takes some major trust and faith.

Yep.  Trust.  Faith.

Okay, I get it.

Lord God, help me to see like You do.  And to love You wholly so that I can be holy like You want.  And all about You, even more than my own comfort and happy.