Learning to Let Them Grow

Before I got to motherhood, I really thought I’d be good at the tough love thing. You know, so that my children would grow into mature adults who know how to handle things they don’t necessarily like.

As it turns out, I’m not. I mean, I’m good at a lot of things that motherhood requires. Like hugging and kissing and cuddling them. Like praying with them and teaching them about Jesus and how crazy about them He is. Like laughing at them with them. And taking them to the doctor when they’re sick.

As it turns out, I’m really not good at making my kids do things that are good for them unless they agree and want to do it. Right about now, I’m guessing that about half of you just had a grumble in your belly at the thought of such spoiled children as this. Go ahead and let yourself feel upset by the fact that this momma has such a large void in her mothering skills, and then when you get over it come on back and I’ll tell you what I’ve been learning about letting my kids grow even when they don’t want to.

Since we’ve been here in this foreign land and the reality of it’s-hard-to-live-where-we-don’t-know-the-language-or-culture has set in with my kids, the growing has become somewhat palpable. I mean, seriously, it’s like watching the clouds move — something you feel like you shouldn’t be seeing in its progress, but you somehow can.

And it’s not just them. The first time we rode our bikes in the city, through the traffic and all of the people, it was all I could do to not turn us all around and ride home before we even got to the corner. My youngest looked wobbly. She rode way to close to the parked cars on the street. And I was right behind her, imagining only the worst of every possible outcome. I kept thinking about the lady we saw who fell when a man walked in front of her. I kept begging God to please just get us to our destination without any falls.

Then they started school, and I had to cheer them through doors with whose other side I was only vaguely familiar. I had to start getting up when the clock still had a five in its foremost position. (Yes. I did. And I still do to this day.) I had to create a new routine in which my kids get out of bed before the sun leaves the other hemisphere and they only want more of the comfy that bed provides.

Since we have moved to this land of the Deutsch, I can honestly say that I have had to learn how to encourage my kids to do the difficult. I am learning to push them as a mom who loves them so much that she only wants what is truly best (not necessarily most comfortable or easy) for them. I am learning to see that, for them and for me, the best any kind of gift anyone could give is the one that points them to Almighty God as the One true Everything and Strength for every part of living. I am learning to let my kids grow.