Of Which I Open My Hands

Brianna R Wasson
February 01, 2011

I wake at 2am to the sound of ice hitting the windows. The storm I knew was coming. I struggle to return to the rest I knew just moments before, but worry fills my mind.

What if we lose our electricity and we have no water and the oldest gets the stomach flu that the youngest had last week and the ice breaks the trees and we can’t drive on the ice and . . .

Somehow I am able to return to the sleep. Until 5 when I hear it again. And the worries return. And I turn over in my soft flannel sheets and lay my heavy head on my billowy pillow that feels less than. And I think my head got heavier and the pillow got harder now that the worries have taken over again.

God, give me eyes to see what You see and hands to graciously accept whatever You give. Whatever You give.

It’s my new heart cry. The one He’s been making me ready to sing. The one He’s teaching me even now as I read the gift of words and wisdom that is Ann Voskamp’s 1,000 Gifts : A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are.

What if everything He does is grace? What if everything that Sovereign God allows is actually somehow gift? What if, as Ann says, “All is grace?” All. Grace. Ice and broken trees and no electricity and, dare I say, even stomach flu. And what if I am thankful, truly?. Yes, thankful. For even such as these.

Then I shall be fully surrendered. And free. to. live. Free to live fully right where I am.

When I worship in church, sometimes I lift my open hands in praise. To show God I want to hold nothing back. To physically state my surrender to Him. But what if my open hands would state that I will also accept whatever He chooses to give? Whatever He chooses. Whatever He gives. And what if I remember that all is grace? And what if surrender is not just the giving but also the taking?

Remember surrender

Remember the rest

Remember that weight lifting off of your chest

And realizing that it’s not up to you and it never was

Remember surrender

Remember relief

Remember how tears rolled down both of your cheeks

As the warmth of a heavenly father came closing in

I want to do that again

Why can’t I live there

And make my home

In sweet surrender

I want to do so much more than remember

Remember surrender

Remember peace

Remember how soundly you fell fast asleep

In the face of your troubles your future

still shone like the morning sun

Remember surrender

Remember that sound

Of all of those voices dying down

But one who speaks clearly of helping

and healing you deep within

from “Remember Surrender” by Sara Groves

And these are truths by which I will choose to open my hands.

Holy, Sovereign God, give my eyes to see as You do and hands to accept whatever You give. Whatever You give.